134th blog …. nakarma si dear husband! heheheh! ….

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

(sumulat ako pra sbihin syo na tlagang lalayasan na kta. naging mbuti akong asawa sa loob ng pitong taon kaya wala nakong magagawa.  prang impyerno sakin ang 2 linggong nakaraan.  tumawag sakin ang amo mo opis kanina, at cnabi nyang nagresign karaw, kaya hanggang ngayon na rin tayo)

Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

(umuwi ka sa bahay nung nakaraang linggo na hindi mo manlang napansin na gagong gupit ako, na ako ang nagluto ng paborito mong ulam, suot ko pa ang bago kong brief)

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

(two minutes ka lang kumain tapos diretso sa kuwarto tapos manood ng konting drama sa tv. ni hindi mo nasambit man lang na mahal mo pako.  ni ayaw mo ng makipagseks o maski anong bagay na patunay na na tayoy mag-asa pa)

Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

(siguro me kinahuhumalingan ka ng ibang lalake o kayay dimona talaga ako mahal.  basta, lalayasan na kita)

Your EX-Husband

(ang yong dating asawa)

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

(tsaka wag mokong hahanapin, wala nako talaga, wala na!   lalayo na kameng dalawa ng kapatid mong mas maganda sayo,  doon kame sa birheng kanluran magpapakaligayang dalawa!  sana sumagana ang buhay mo na wala ako! hmmmp!

Dear Ex-Husband,

(sa asawang lumayas)

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

(nakumpleto ang araw ko ng mabasa ko ang sulat mo)

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping.

(totoong pitong taon tayong nagsama, pero dika kelanman naging mabuting asawa.  nanonood na lang ako ng drama sa tv para lang lunurin ang dimatapus-tapus mong pangingiyaw)

Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.

(kumita nayan.  napansin ko ang buhok mo nung nakaraan, pero napuna kong nagmukang binabae.  pinalaki ako ng aking ina na wag magsabi ng magsama kaninuman kung ala rin akong masasabing mabuti, kaya ala kang narinig sakin)

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

(at ng magluto ka ng paborito ko, napagkamalan mo ata na ako ang kapatid ko, dahil pitong taon na ako hindi tumitikim ng taba)

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.

(yung tungkol sa bagong brief, talagang dikita pinansin at nagtangatangahan nlang, kase nga, me tag price pang 50 pesos ang brief.  nagkataon lang siguro na nanghiram saken ng 60 pesos ang kapatid kong maganda. ok lang kase mahal pa rin kita noon, at inakala kong  kaya pa nating irepair ang ating relasyong mag-asawa)

So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone …

(kaya nga ng tumama ako ng 430 milyong piso sa loto, nagresign ako sa trabaho at bumili agad ng dalawang tiket para sa tour sa jamaica.  kaya lang, ng makauwi ako sa bahay eh wala ka na)

Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

(siguro nga, me mga dahilan ang mga pangyayare)

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

(sana maging matagumpay ka sa ginusto mong buhay.  sabe ng abogado ko na ingatan ko raw ang sulat mo saken para dika makakuha ng maski sang kuseng na duleng saken)

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

(lagda, ang dati mong asawa, ngayon eh mayaman na at malayang-malaya)

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

(oo nga pala, dikoalam ko nasabi ko na to sayo, pero ang kapatid kong maganda na si carla ay dating si Carlo, sana ok lang sayo)

Advertisements

One thought on “134th blog …. nakarma si dear husband! heheheh! ….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s